This entry is a reflection of my recent thoughts.

So what is it with climbing. I have no interest in defeating somebody (or being defeated), and have been overwhelmed with this thing about winning and losing. Climbing is not so about defeating others, but more so about defeating the weaknesses in ourselves, and this excitement of “fighting myself” is what I feel makes climbing interesting. And of course, this is what drives me to climb.

Having rivals may make climbing more interesting, but for climbers with gifts and talents far beyond my reach, though I do feel excited when I see them climb, I am more convinced to think that they have their path and I have my own, just live and let live. I would say climbing is not so much about “fighting” but more so about “refining” ourselves.

I have gained so much from climbing, and at the end of the day when I am more skilled (in terms of knowledge, skills etc.) I want to revert back what I have gained to people around me in some way. This is not only limited to the knowledge and skills, but more comprehensive to include the “process” of how I have refined myself through climbing. I would love to share these with others.

I have been thinking lately, on how I can (and should) relate to climbing in the future. At the moment, I am having trouble finding the right one. During so, a doubt towards selling architectural metal has been raised inside me, and have been asking myself every single day whether this aligns with my belief. My current belief is “ultimate ecology is not to buy anything”, and selling exterior/interiors for luxury brands and IT stores is the exact opposite of it. Though I am not currently capable of doing anything special, I truly feel that “there must be tonnes of problems out there to be solved that need more and more attention”.

When I look around my desk and see that everyone is doing naturally what I feel doubt about, I have this unclear feeling that has no place to be inside of me. Something (jobs) that enables me to contribute to the society through climbing – this is what I am looking for. As my age is becoming near the deadline for many opportunities, I feel that time is running. But haste makes waste. I know that I should not rush and make shot-term decisions.

Once my superior at work said “If you feel something wrong about what you are selling, then try to think of a way as to how we can sell something worthwhile for others.” Please do not get me wrong, but I have never felt that there is something wrong with metal itself. In fact, equipment for climbing such as ATC, crampons, ice Ice axe etc. are all made of metal. Problems do not lay on metal itself, but more on its use.

The more I live ecological, the more I question the necessity of luxury brands which I feel are needlessly expensive. Friend of mine’s wife works at some luxury brand firm, and told me that they had a huge new year’s ceremony at a luxury hotel where they reserved a huge party room. Am I the only one to think that they are gaining excessive profit? At the same time, I do not believe that products should be too less profitable; this I believe is one of the root causes of exploitation. A reasonable, fair price is how I believe they should be.

The more I climb and the more I go to mountains, the more I question the existence of those luxury stores. Women at my mountaineering club are dressed up with climbing/mountaineering gears (obviously) and wears very natural cosmetics. Recently I am encouraged to think that this is something very precious.

My current boss in my division used to work in the exact industry I am criticizing, and on top of that, a guy with such a career is to be the next president of the company. I am not stupid enough to think that he will understand my current thoughts. In a way, having this discussion will criticize his career, and I want to avoid conflicts by doing so. It is hard to let my colleagues in Spirits, a climbing team we have established in the current company, to know about how I feel, but day by day I am getting close to the decision of changing my career. I guess the decision has already been made inside of me; it is only a matter of timing, and this decision must be something I will never regret.

I always felt that “Selling something shapeless (=hospitality) to the end users” is more suitable for my personality/characteristics. When I was still a teenager, I met a mentor who directed me towards the current direction (=annoyingly enthusiastic). Obviously, this guy was more enthusiastic (annoyingly) than I am. He used to be a manager at a restaurant in Ikebukuro where I used to work at, and reunited last year at common friend of our’s wedding. At that time, he told me that up until now, he has never been able to hire a single worker who has the same ability as I have. This mentor of mine has worked at several stores, and now manages multiple stores by himself.

As a waiter during teenage time, and as an international students’ counselor during my last career, I have been providing services and hospitality to the end users. Current career is the first time for me to sell something with shape (=architectural metal) to business users, but recently I particularly feel that I am more suited to sell something shapeless to more number of people (=end users). Moreover, it would be best if I can relate the next career to climbing. I could not be more happier if someone tries climbing for even one time in their lifetime and feel that it was something worthwhile for their future (of course I would be even more happier if they continue to climb).

Honestly speaking, if there is any “ideal” job out there that satisfies all my needs, then I will challenge it right away. Women climbers in my mountaineering club said that I may want to go overseas again once I start multi-pitch climbing, and I could not deny this possibility.

Another way of saying vocation in English is “calling” (also often called “vocational calling”). As far as I understand, this comes from a Christianity way of thinking where God calls a person to a particular job or profession which a person is specially drawn for or for which he/she is suited or qualified. I like this way of thinking, and will follow the “call” to decide my next direction. No one is complete (or perfect) when they die; we are always at anytime continuing to strive for something better. Out of numerous choices, I have been and I will always be making what I feel the “best” at each time the decision has to be made. Whenever and wherever I am, and whatever situation I am facing, I will stay aggressive and never defensive.